


Don't be brave, be scared

by orphan_account



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, F/M, M/M, i don't even know what this is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-02
Updated: 2013-05-01
Packaged: 2017-12-10 04:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/781573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iker wakes up, without his memory and just with a letter from some guy named Leo. He makes his way across the post-apocalyptic country side, desperately trying to figure out what the hell happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't be brave, be scared

**Author's Note:**

> here is my AU. i am a huge sucker for Apocalypic AU's and wanted to try on of my own. Enjoy and review :D

Hi. My name is Lio. Lio Messi. Lionel Messi. I am 25 years old and one of the fated survivors of the big apocalypse. I was 23 when the world was struck into oblivion. Over 6 Billion people died. 99 % of the Earths population dead, the rest of us are thieves, murderers and survivors.

Here are the four most important rules:

  * There are alliances among us. Best you travel in groups. 3 or even 4 people would be good, more even better. Those who travel alone, mostly end up dead. It's a fact of life now. Find someone your gut trusts. But don't get attached (see Point 3).

  * Get water. Lots and lots of water. You might think you don't need it now, but you will need it. I know it's heavy, but it is better getting some extra muscles and carrying the dead weight, rather then dying a painful death of dehydration and/or poisoning.

  * Don't get attached. It is just depressing when they die and you'll never survive.

  * Don't be afraid to kill someone. It's kill or get killed. You get used to it. There is no such thing of having the death of another person weigh on your conscience. If you don't kill, you get killed.

  * Run. Don't get into a fight, just run. Ignore my statement above. Running is more important than killing. If you can't run away you'll die. And don't worry about your ability to run. It'll develop.

  * Last, but not least: Don't be a brave, be scared, be very, very scared. This is war and war is a place to feel shit scared.




You'll think your gonna die any day. You could. I'm not denying that, but I don't want you to. I know you have no idea who I am. But bear with me here. Even from afar, I am your best chance at survival. I left you a bag with clothes, water and some dry food. Please ration.

  * Don't look for a gun. Guns need ammo and there is no ammo left. Believe me. I know. I looked. Look for a knife. There is a small one in your pocket, but you need a bigger one. If nessassary make a machete. It's good for chopping peoples heads off.

  * Don't go into supermarkets or any other kind of stores. Everything is gone and that is where the squatters live. Go through people's homes. That is where the most stuff is.

  * It's summer. Get a hoodie, a real Winter Jacket if possible, long underwear, socks, shoes, pants, extra shirts. Learn how to put them all into one backpack. You'll thank me in the winter.

  * Do not drink from rivers or streams. It is really full of shit and piss. No joke.

  * Do not walk on the roads. That is where the bandits are. Walk through the nature, along railroad tracks or along rivers, but not on heavy populated roads.

  * If you really have to stop moving find a sleeping place that is really, really far away from everyone and everything else. Like in a field or in a farm house in the middle of nowhere.

  * Don't stay anywhere for more than 2 or 3 weeks. It alerts bandits and everyone else that you are there.




We are in Spain. I don't know how much you remember, but we are in Spain and somewhere around Barcelona. Your name is Iker, just in case. Don't say more, don't even pretend you know your surname. By anyone’s best guess your parents, siblings and other family are dead. If you do remember, please do not go looking for them. There is a picture in the pocket of your jacket. Her name is Sara. I don't know if you remember her anymore, but you really did love her.

Good luck, keep safe and keep moving,

Lio.

 

 

 

Iker folded the letter again and put it back into his jacket. It had been 3 weeks since he woke up in a corn field with the letter on the top of a green army bag. Lio. Who was Lio? Why was he helping him? Iker did not remember anything from before 3 weeks ago. His entire life was just a big, black blank in his mind. Iker could have been anything. A mass murderer, a politician, a genius in his life, but he just wouldn't know. Iker remembered what television, the internet, movies were and he had faint impressions like smells and tastes in his memory, but nothing personal.

Iker swung the bag over his shoulder and took one last look over his shoulder at the burnt down house he was leaving in his wake. It had been his home for 2 weeks, before Iker had decided to burn it down and move on. He got the idea of burning it down when he had remembered some part of a movie. Maybe it was practical. Maybe it would alert everyone that he was there. Iker just didn't know.

 

Iker had met exactly 6 people in his three weeks. 2 were old men, who had watched Iker as he walked past them, but they had done nothing. 2 had been little children playing with a football in their midst and their mother watching from a little tent. The other had been a man in his early thirties.

“Oi, Mate. Where are you going?” he had said and had grabbed Iker by the shoulder. Australian by the sounds of it. What was an Australian doing in Spain? Iker knew English. That much had been obvious. English and Spanish then. The man had grabbed Iker's bag and yanked it forcefully, but it stayed on Iker's shoulder.

“Leave me alone.” Iker had spat in Spanish and had run away. He had heard the man's footsteps following him down the road, but Iker had quickly escaped into a field that stood there and had been gone, before the man could catch up again.

Iker was on his way to Madrid. He did not really know much else than a few hazy, unclear images of a small house and the overwhelming feeling of having to go to Madrid. He was not going to stay in Madrid, but at least look if there was any place that looked, felt or sounded familiar. Maybe just a bit of the old Iker to get his memory back on track.

Iker walked for most of the day until it was just short of the sunset and Iker walked into a corn field. It was a good place to sleep. At least for tonight. Safe and sound.

“Stop!” a voice suddenly said lowly. Iker froze, hands in the air and he felt a cold blade on the back of his neck. “Where are you going?”

“I was just going to sleep here.” Iker says quietly. He dares to turn around and looks at a man, maybe his age, maybe just a bit older, holding a long knife to his neck. “I can go on. I'm on my way to Madrid.”

“That is stupid, mate.” the man laughs. “Don't go to cities. Those are not good news. I'm Steven.” Steven puts away his knife and smiles as Iker. “Come. You can sleep at my place for a night.”

Iker remembers what Lio had wrote.

_Find someone your gut trusts._

Iker's gut trusted Steven. He seemed like a nice fellow. He was English, judging by the thick accent in his Spanish, but who said English were all bad people?

“Love, we have a guest.” Steven called once they had reached a campsite with a small fireplace, a tent and a cooking dinner. Iker could hear his stomach growl and so apparently did Steven, because the other man laughed loudly.

Iker excepted a woman to come from somewhere, but a man Iker's age came out of the tent and he smiled at Steven with such plain relief in his eyes that Iker almost felt bad.

“Iker, this is Xabi. Xabi, this is Iker. He'll eat with us.” Steven introduced them. Xabi smiled.

“Nice to meet you, Iker.” Xabi said with flawless Spanish. So a Spaniard and a Englishman. Interesting. Iker sets his bag down.

“You too.” Iker says. Steven ushers them both to sit down near the fireplace and Iker holds out his cold hands to warm them. He was never brave enough to start a fire, fearing that someone would see.

“So Iker. Tell us. What did you do before the disaster?” Steven asks after a few moment of silence where they all get a bowl of broth and a piece of old bread (to Iker it tastes like a feast).

“I am not sure.” Iker says uncomfortably. He rubs the back of his neck. “I don't have a memory of before 3 weeks ago. Something must have happened.”

“Oh I'm sorry.” Steven says immediately. Xabi sends him a small look and they talk silently. Iker sighs silently. Oh what he would give for such a love. Maybe the girl from the picture – Sara – was someone like that for him.

“You're really cute together.” It is out of Iker before he can stop himself. Steven and Xabi look at each other for a second, before smiling at Iker. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. It's just so -”

“rare?” Steven suggests. Iker nods, looking down.

“Ah don't worry. You'll find someone some day.” Xabi says with a grin and a laugh in his voice. Steven leans over and kisses Xabi on the mouth. Iker grins and looks down into his bowl.

 

 

“What were you before?” Iker asks one day. He has been traveling with Steven and Xabi for a good month now, but he never dared to ask. “Before all this? Did you have families?”

Xabi looks at Iker from over his shoulder and gives Iker a small smile. “Don't worry Iker. You'll find someone eventually. There must be someone out there for you.” Iker looks away from Xabi quickly. He is embarrassed that after only a month, Xabi can read him so well. Iker wanted to be mysterious, cool about his past.

“I had a wife. And three girls.” Stevie announces. Both Xabi and Iker look at him, equally surprised. “Lilly-Ella, the eldest, Lexie and Lourdes. They were with Alex in England when the bombs dropped. I don't know what happened to them.”

“Stevie.” Xabi whispers. Stevie glares and pulls his arm out of Xabi's grip.

“Leave it.” He snaps. Xabi looks indefinately hurt. Iker chews on his bottom lip afraid his loaded question would make Xabi and Stevie fight.

 

 

“Come on love. Don't do this to me. Please my love.” Steven knees over Xabi and has his face cupped in his hands. Iker takes the machete out of the bandit's head and stand back looking onto the pair of them with sad eyes.

“I'm so sorry.” Xabi coughs. Blood splatters up onto his lips and stains them a deep red. Steven leans down and presses their foreheads close together. “My Stevie, my love.”

Iker looks up into the sky, blinking wildly, trying to keep the tears at bay. Steven sobs loudly and runs one hand all over Xabi's body.

“It's all going to be alright.” Steven mutters frantically. Xabi smiles weakly, clearly in a lot of pain. “Everything will be fine. You'll see my love. We will have a family. Find a baby. Do you remember? Come on. Breathe love. We can get through this. Everything is going to be alright.”

Xabi looks over at Iker. _Take care of him._ He mouths. Iker nods immediately. Of course he will. This is Xabi. How could he not? Xabi looks at Steven and raises a hand to touch his soul mates face.

“Steven Gerrard, I-” Xabi's hand falls to the ground and his head rolls to the side. Steven picks Xabi's body up and rocks it back and forth. Iker turns away, tears rolling down his face.

“Xabi, Xabi, Xabi, Xabi, Xabi.” Steven is muttering. Iker's heart clenches painfully and he feels ill. How can this be? Xabi and Steven were supposed to be forever. Not like this. This was not the way it should be. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Iker watches as Steven stands up, walking a short distance and picking up a shovel. Iker pulls the attackers body aside, dumping it in the middle of the road. Steven is next to Xabi's body, digging as quickly as he can. A shallow grave. A lot less than Xabi deserves. Xabi needs a sermon, a mass of people sobbing and crying, the hearts of so many more people broken. Not just Steven and Iker. Everyone should be crying. Why is the earth still turning? Iker can hear a group of people going past them on the main road a hundred meters away. No. They should be crying, just as Steven and Iker are. They should stop. They should mourn. Why is no one stopping?

“My love.” Steven says as he looks onto Xabi's face on last time and kisses him softly. He tosses the last of the dirt on Xabi and Iker feels the tears drip down his face. Steven throws flowers on the grave. Flowers Iker had picked from all around them, giving them to Steven.

Iker had turned back, was walking back to where their tent was when Steven started screaming. Iker watched heartbroken as Steven kicked anything he could catch with his foot.

“WHY?” Steven yelled. “Why Xabi? Why not me?”

Iker moves to where Steven stands quickly and pulled him into a big hug. Steven clings onto him like a lifeline. Iker can't breathe, but who cares? If Xabi can't breathe than Steven and Iker don't have to either.

“He was everything, Iker.” Steven sobs. “He was my lifeline. What am I going to do without him? Please Iker. Do something. Why Xabi? Why not us?”

_I don't know._ Iker thinks. _I really do not know._

 

 

“Good night.” Iker says. Steven nods numbly. He is looking into the shine of the fire and not doing much more. He never does much more. Iker sighs and retreats into their tent, curling into the blanket in his side. It is colder at night now, but the days are still warm. Iker feels sleep come over him quickly. He falls asleep in less than ten minutes. He is tired. Taking care of himself and of Stevie is just a lot to deal with.

It is already light out when Iker wakes up again. Steven is not in the tent and his stuff does not look touched at all. Hopefully he did not spend the entire night outside again like two weeks ago. That would not be good for Stevie's health. Iker stretches when he comes out of the tent, looks around and nearly pukes.

Steven lies on the ground, breathing hard, his limbs as far away from his head as possible in a starfish. There is a big pool of blood under Stevie and a knife lies abandoned next to him. Iker quickly checks Stevie's pulse, but there is too much blood for a real chance. Iker sees a small note on the ground.

_I have to be with Xabi._

Why does everyone leave him? Xabi, Steven, Sara. Iker packs his stuff quickly and grabs the essentiels out of Steven's bag. He places a lone flower on Steven's chest and leaves quickly. Iker does not want to see more pain, misery and heartache. Iker can't think of how he just slept while Steven killed himself. He had promised Xabi. Promised the older man to take care of Steven. Now both were dead.

What was Iker supposed to do now? He did not know anyone else. He didn't know where to go. He only knew them. Only Xabi, the best, the kindest, the most human person Iker knew and Steven, the most passionate, the most loyal and the most fierce person Iker knew.

Iker understood why Steven would do it. He could not imagine. Losing the only person one truly loved. Losing the one person who had understood how you function. Losing the one person who was your soul mate in every possible way.

Iker hoped, he prayed, he wished that Steven would find Xabi into whatever place one goes after death. That he died with the thought, the idea of knowing he would see Xabi again. That Steven knew what Xabi had wanted to say, before he had died. That Steven knew and realized that Xabi loved him just as much as vice versa.

The bag is much heavier than before. It is Iker's constant reminder that Xabi and Steven are truly and really gone. He suddenly remembers what Lio had written in the letter.

_Don't get attached._

He knew why now. It was just shit. Iker felt like shit, he looked like shit and he wanted to doing nothing, just mope and drink tea. He had never wanted to drink tea before Xabi. Xabi, who could spend nearly an hour ranting about the importance of a nice and hot tea. Xabi, who had unwillingly influenced Iker so much, that he wanted a drink he had never liked before.

Iker missed a bed now more than all this time beforehand. A nice, warm, soft bed where Iker could just crawl into and cry. A bed with a big blanket, preferably a feather duvet and also lots of pillows. All this sleeping on hard earth was making Iker's back hurt a lot.

 

 

 

“papa, papa look at what I found!” a child's voice yelled. Iker looked around himself and saw a young boy hopping up and down a few dozen feet away from him. The wind had carried the small voice over to where he stood. Iker walked a few feet towards the child despite himself. He really didn't want to frighten the boy, but it had been so long since he had human contact.

“Junior. Go to Ricky.” an older voice barked from behind Iker. He turned and saw an angry twenty-something man pointing a gun at Iker's head. Iker's eyes widened and he lifted his hands slowly. He really did not want to hurt anyone, if that was what the other man thought.

“I don't want to hurt anyone.” Iker quickly said, but quickly realized that was maybe not the cleverest thing to say. The Man's eyes narrowed and he came a few steps closer. “I mean I am just passing. I am just on my way to Madrid.”

“Family or Business?” the man asked with a gruff tone.

“i don't know.” Iker said quietly. He nearly blushes embarrassed. Why? It was not his fault he lost his memory of bloody everything that had happened in – he was guessing here – thirty-something years.

“Cris, leave the man alone.” another voice said. Iker looked behind him and saw a young man glaring at Cris (?). “He looks fairly harmless.”

“The last time you said someone was harmless they ended up trying to kill us, Cesc. I am sorry I do not really trust your judgment here.” Cris said bitingly. Iker bit his lip to stop himself from grinning. “What you laughing at? I am still not finished with you.”

“Cris. Stop it.” another voice commanded. Iker could see Cris look over Iker and the gun lowered just a bit. Iker looked again and saw a handsome man walk up next to Cesc. “I'm sorry about my friend here. I'm Ricky. This is Cris and Cesc.”

“Iker.” Iker slowly put his hands back down again and cleared his throat comfortably as he looked from Cris to Cesc and Ricky and back again. He shoved the hoodie away from his face and looked at the three men.

“Mi Dios.” Cesc whispered, before Ricky glared at him with the passion of a billion fiery suns. Iker briefly wondered upon the statement for a few seconds, before shrugging. “Iker, why don't you join us for lunch.”

Ricky send a glare to Cris, before the other man can protest and Iker shrugs uncomfortably. He does not really need any food just now and he really needs to go.

“I think I'll better -” the man doesn't allow Iker to finish the sentence. “Nonsense. You are coming with us.”

Iker follows the group back to their little tent. Cris is still sending him angry glares, but Cesc tries to talk amicably on the way back. Three children run out of the tent.

“Hello, I'm Luca. I like football. Who are you?.” The eldest – Luca – said shyly and waved. He was wearing a Spain Football Jersey and looked at Iker with big brown eyes.

“Hi Luca. I'm Iker. I used to play football.” Iker smiles warmly at the children and resists the urge to bend down. He knows now that he likes children. Interesting. Maybe he had – no that is too depressing to think of.

“Did you have children, before -” Cesc asks interested. Iker looks at the younger man and sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“I honestly do not know.” Iker sighs. “Something has messed with my mind. I do not remember more than my name and general feelings. But I do like kids.”

“and football.” Luca helpfully supplies. Iker grins at him. One of the other kids – Isabella – lifts her arms and stares at Iker, demanding to be picked up immediately. She is maybe 2 and looks at Iker with her big, brown eyes. She is sucking on a simple piece of cloth and just stares into Iker's face.

Iker can see Ricky elbow Cris into the side, whispering something into his ear. Iker juggles Isabella on his hips and runs a dirty hand over her dark hair.

“Well come on Iker. Take a seat. Tell us something about you.” Ricky says and they all scoot closer together, so that Iker can sit down with Isabella still on his arm. They all look at Iker expectantly.

“Um, I'm Iker. I don't remember much more than nearly 3 Months ago. I woke up in a field near Barcelona, then I met Xabi and Stevie, but I guess I am here now.” Iker nearly smiles. That is a very short version of that story. “I want to go to Madrid, because that is where Xabi and Stevie eventually wanted to go.”

“Where are they?” Cesc asks. Iker looks at the younger man, studies him. He is handsome. A nice face, dark hair, equally dark eyes and a certain kind of charm in his eyes.

“Not exactly here anymore.” Iker says shortly. He can see the faces of all the adults fall.

“Sorry.” Cesc mutters. Iker smiles sadly and looks down at Isabella, who is looking up at him with big eyes. “Didn't mean to ...”

“I'm over it.” there is a small, awkward silence. Iker doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know these people. They are strangers for him. He rocks Isabella around a bit and the little girl giggles loudly.

“Well.” Ricky says loudly to lighten the mood. “How about we eat. Bella has to go to bed sometime anyways.”

“No.” Isabella says clearly. Iker laughs and grins at the girl, who grins at him too. Somehow he feels like a proud brother, or uncle, or friend.

“Yes.” Ricky says clearly. He hands Iker a bowl of some Rice with pieces of something in it. “I hope you like Rabbit. It's the only meat Cris could find.”

“I think I could eat anything just about now.” Iker laughs. He falls quiet after that listening to Cesc babble on with Luca and Junior. They talk about nonsense, but make Iker laugh nevertheless.

“And then the monster jumped up in front of us and Carlota and I fell back screaming.” Cesc mimicked part of his story. Luca and Junior shrieked with laughter and even Isabella was giggling, though she was slowly falling asleep on Iker's arm. Cris and Ricky were talking in low tones with each other and Iker was just watching everyone. He felt it when Isabella snuggled against his chest and yawned widely.

“I think someone is tired.” Iker announced. Ricky immediately jumped up and quickly took Isabella out of Iker's arms. “G'night Isabella.”

“Night, Bella.” Cris waved at the little girl, who just yawned. Ricky brings her into the tent and Luca and Junior follow almost immediately. It is quiet. Ricky's low voice is heard. He is telling the kids something. After a short while Cris also goes into the tent and Iker is alone outside with Cesc. The other man moves closer to Iker and they both stare into the flames.

“What's your story?” Iker asks. “You are not as familiar as Ricky and Cris are.”

“I survived with 2 friends of mine, Lio and Geri, but then they didn't survive.” Cesc says bitterly. He looks at Iker and has small tears in his eyes. “I guess similar like your two friends.”

“Uh. Xabi was murdered. Stevie killed himself. Maybe.” Iker doesn't mean to sound so cynical. Cesc smiles wryly.

“Maybe. Anyone else in your life?” Iker is well-aware Cesc is flirting with him, but how the hell should Iker know how to respond. It apparently never came natural and he does not remember flirting with anyone since he woke up.

“Don't know. Am supposed to be in love with some Sara, but I don't even know her.” Iker shrugs. Cesc smiles softly.

“Our lives are god-damn depressing.” Cesc chuckles. Iker quirks a small smile. True. They really are. And all that, just because the earth decided to have to cleanse itself from almost all the humans. Thank you Mother Nature.

 

 

Iker wakes up curled up near the simmering fire. It is first light and he is really cold. As he sits up he can see why he is cold. A thin layer of frost and ice covers the entire landscape as far as Iker can see. The sun reflects on the ice and glisters brightly. It is admirably beautiful. It must be near October or November now.

Iker walks a few feet away from camp to look at the entire earth. It is beautiful and untouched. This is mother nature like it was a thousand-million years ago. Untouched by the petty humans. Just nature with itself.

“It's beautiful.” Cesc comes up from behind Iker and he stands beside him so that their shoulders touch. They stand silently just watching the sun come up over the trees. The sky is tainted red and blue by the red sun and everything is beautiful. Iker can't remember seeing anything this beautiful. Summer isn't this nice, Fall isn't this nice. It is the beginning of Winter. Soon snow and cold and Ice will come. Iker is already freezing now and it is probably not even much under 0 degrees just now.

Cesc and Iker watch until the sun is high up in the sky and the entire day is there. The frost goes away and the grass no longer crunches under Iker's boot.

“Good morning.” Iker tells Cesc. The younger man smiles and breathes a big puff of white air. It looks like smoke and they both watch as the smoke rises high. It looks like Cigarette Smoke. Iker never smoked, but someone in his family did.

“Did you smoke?” Cesc asks. Iker has to grin. He was thinking exactly the same thing.

“No.” Iker admits.

“Me Neither. My coach would have killed me.” Iker sighs. He pities Cesc. The other man would have had such a beautiful future if it had not been for the apocalypse. Cesc could have played for Barcelona if he had wanted to. Iker was also good at football, but he had never hoped to play more than secunda division. Nothing as fabulous as Barcelona or Real Madrid.

“Where are you two coming from?” Ricky asks once they are back at camp. Everyone is awake. Isabella sends Iker a big, bright smile and continues eating her porridge. Ricky and Cris send Iker and Cesc a look that does not mean anything good.

“We were watching the sunrise.” Cesc says mildly. Cris raises one eyebrow, but they do not ask. Iker takes just a bit of the porridge and a small sip of the rest of their water.

Ricky sends Luca and Junior away to wash the plates when all are finish. “We have a problem.” Cris says as soon as the boys are out of earshot. “We don't have any more oats and barely enough water for 3 days.”

“we should move on too.” Ricky adds. “We have been at this place for too long.”

“Iker and I can go scavange food and water.” Cesc suggests. “We'll meet a one point tomorrow and Iker and I'll go now.”

“Let's do that. We are about 10 miles away from a little town called St. Sebastians. Meet us there today or tomorrow. If you aren't there in 4 days ...”

“Think of us as dead.” Iker sighs. He kisses Isabella on the head and with one last look Iker and Cesc take their stuff and head into the direction of St. Sebastians.

They are silent for nearly an hour. Iker can't imagine the possibility of having to lose Isabella, or Ricky, or Luca, or even Cris. He grew attached again. Wonderful. 


End file.
